Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize