so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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