I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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