doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
