I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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