Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
