you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
