school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
