she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
