so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Randomize
