He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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