worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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