I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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