why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize