I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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