you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
sex in a hospital.. check
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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