You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
