you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
