these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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