i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize