i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
