Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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