so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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