Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
