i want to swaddle you in tequila
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
