why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Ketchup is God's man juice
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize