super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
