I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
