What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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