I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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