home. puking in laundry basket.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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