i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
