did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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