the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize