it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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