I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Randomize
