You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
