I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
