"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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