Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
