So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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