community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
