you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
