I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
