i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
How naked do you want me to be?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
