eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
My dick has a subreddit
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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