he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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