i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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