I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
