Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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