Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
