What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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