His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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