He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize