Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
