But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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