Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
