i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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