Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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