She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
