like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
