this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
