DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
