well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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