Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
