I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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