remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I think your dad took our porno
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
